We are up early but not so bright as its still pitch dark as we pile into 2 matutos for our game drive round Lake Nakuru National Park. Our driver is Peter, and he has a great sense of humour and fantastic knowledge of the park wildlife. Today, we are on the hunt for black and white rhinos,  and  the elusive leopard. However, our first task is to track the other the matuto which went missing in the first half hour and did not arrive at the appointed entrance gate to the park. Eventually, we trace them to another entrance and set off through the park to meet them. At the other entrance, they are already being menaced by the monkeys, anxious to discover if they have any tasty titbits.

The game drive proper commences and our eyes are fixed on the acacia branches, looking for  a swinging tail but there is so much as else to see that we are constantly distracted as Peter somehow manages to drive the muddy potholed route and point out the wildlife as he goes. Monkeys running from branch to branch, buffalo down by the lakeside, alongside the waterbuck and the zebras. Then we spot a couple of male lions, exiled from their pride, and almost immediately two black rhinos grazing just beyond the road. All the time, Peter is spotting the bird life, his speciality. We see white rhinos and giraffes and warthogs and more zebra, then down by the lakeside more white rhinos and thousands of flamingo and pelicans (there used to millions, Peter tells us). We meet up with the other matuto but they are not so happy. Their guide has got lost and has no idea about the wildlife and they have seen nothing but the two old lions. We suggest that their guide follows us and  we point out the wildlife as we go. They have still not seen any black rhino so when we see one in the distance trotting towards the road, we happily point it out but carry on as we already have the photos. It’s some time later we realise they are not following. Peter reluctantly stops and waits for a while, then, even more reluctantly carries out a skilled 3 point turn to go back along the track to find them. A jeep tells us they had got stuck but are now out so we wait even longer. Still no sign. We’re getting worried. Eventually, an hour later, they arrive, both shaken and stirred. With the rhino rapidly approaching they had got stuck in a deep pothole, near some long grass (excellent cover for lions) and trees (leopards). Their driver, had insisted they all get out and that 2 of the guys go searching for branches to put under the wheels, before pulling (not pushing) them out. Despite another jeep towing them out once, he had managed to get them stuck 3 times in the same pothole and had only narrowly missed running the  guys pulling over! After that we did not let them out of our sight.

This morning is the first morning of our duty rosta. So far, Kanyo has directed operations for breakfast, dinner etc and  we have mucked in ad hoc. From today we are all divided into 4 teams on a rotating rosta. All except Team D – Tenacious D. Tenacious D are the firestarters, responsible for lighting the fire for the breakfast/dinner cooks, laying out the breakfast tables, etc. Tenacious D have to be first up every morning no matter what time kick off. Tenacious D don’t rotate on the rosta. Guess what team I’m on. No more lies in for me!

A few of us have signed up to go horse riding along Lake Victoria this morning. Horses were checked by one expert and deemed to be fit at the stable but the horse they propose for me to ride this morning does not appear to be much bigger than a Shetland pony. As I swing effortlessly (!) on to Toffee’s back I can almost hear her creaking under the strain. Our 2 guides are not accompanying us on horseback and trot alongside us. The kids shout and wave as we walk along the main road. The main road? It seems no-one had appraised our guides that we were to hack along the Lake side and not take the road back to Hells Gate. Oh well. This Is Africa! We manage a short canter back from Hells Gate before I take pity on Toffee and we just make it back to camp and time for a quick shower and pack up the tent before we watch the All Blacks trounce the Springboks. We set off for Lake Nakuru with some very happy Kiwi campers.

After the match we’re on the road to Lake Nakuru and a campsite owned by a former Absolute employee. Despite his experience he didn’t seem to factor the size of overland trucks into his site design and it takes Dickson some considerable manoeuvring to get us onto the site almost taking out one of the popups.

The hippos failed to keep me awake, despite their best efforts and it is birdsong which wakes me with the dawn. Today we have a lie in, a leisurely cooked breakfast and a gentle amble in nearby Hells Gate National Park, walking with the animals.

Breakfast heaven IS scrambled egg on buttered fried bread. Then we’re off in our little matuto. First stop is the lake, where we see Greater and Lesser Flamingo (guess which is biggest). We approach slowly to get as close as possible without disturbing them. Then 2 more matutos arrive, their passengers discharge and rush over to the lakeside, forcing the flamingo to take flight immediately. Thanks guys. We, at least, got some great pictures.

Then we head off to the Park itself. As we pull into the park, there are buffalo and zebras only a few metres away. Walking between the acacia trees, there is a herd of impala just hanging out under one particular tree. Behind, some dikdiks scatter as they hear our footsteps. The colours and the image is surreal. I feel like we’re in some sort of Disney movie and Bambi is just about to appear.

Zebras and Thomson gazelle wander past in groups and pairs, the foals prancing and posing for the cameras, less than 20m away. Exiting the trees for some scrubland we suddenly spot 2 young male giraffe peering at us between the trees, less than 10m from us. They stare at us and blink with those big doe eyes before casually tearing another branch from the tree next to them. They wander round, occasionally sparring necks with each other before resuming their munching.

We stroll around the park, just enjoying the close proximity of the animals and then up a hill, scrambling up a little rock at the top. From the top we have a fantastic view over the Green Crater Lake and the fancy lodge accommodation on the other side. The trees on the hillside frame the picture perfectly.

Scrambling down the hillside track we walk round the lake to the lodge, keeping our eyes peeled for the lonely old hippo which had wandered there accidently recently and hasn’t found his way back home.

Back in the matuto and I’m looking forward to a lazy afternoon back at the campsite and some evening fun down in the bar. What a bunch of lightweights. Three days into the trip and we’re all knackered and in bed by 11pm. All except Irish John, who ends up partying the night away with the locals down the disco.

It’s still seems  a long way from daybreak when I have to get up. At least it’s stopped raining and its not long before Kanyo is up and we start preparing a breakfast of fresh pineapple and watermelon. We’re heading back  into the Mara for another game drive with the hope of seeing the migration crossing the river and will be waiting at the gate for opening time. We take the main road and, once again, are overwhelmed by the numbers of zebra and particularly wildebeest, all moving in herds, in single file. We add buffalo to the Big 5 tick list but so far, we haven’t spotted any giraffe or elephant within the Mara. I turn to Kanyo and ask if there any giraffe in the park. Just then, we spot an giraffe crossing the road ahead. It’s a mum with a baby which can’t be more than a couple of days old. Aaah. Well. That worked. I try again. ‘Kanyo, are there any elephant in the Mara’. Sure enough, almost immediately we spot an elephant in the distance. I go for gold. ‘What about leopards and cheetahs?’ Oh well. You can’t win them all. We continue towards the river, spotting more giraffe and elephants along the way. It’s surprising how difficult it is to spot an elephant.

The sun is out and it’s a gorgeous day. We are about half an hour from the river when Alice has to meet a certain need. Alice. Who has been keen to see a lion kill. Alice. Who would be very happy if one of our number would sacrifice themselves in the cause, and at least get mauled, or scratched.. Alice needs to go get off the truck. The truck which we are not allowed to get off inside the park, under any circumstances. Kanyo consults and it is agreed that we are in a relatively safe location but that going off road is definitely off limits.

Alice looks around, pleading. ‘Does anyone want to go with me?’ It’s tempting, but already we are a team. If one goes, we all go together.

Down by the river, there is no sign of the herds, but there a several hippos lounging in the water. Along the opposite bank are several logs, which most of us ignore till one twitches. Suddenly they are clearly identifiable as crocs. Waiting for dinner. A consultation with the rangers reveals that they are unlikely to get dinner there today, so we head off back towards the exit, still marvelling at the herds of wildebeest, zebra and other wildlife and adding vulture, mongoose (or is it mongeese?) and ostrich to our vast list of wildlife spotted.

Pretty soon, we are back on the rough road to Nairobi and out the other side towards Naivasha (Moving Water) and luxury. A proper campsite with toilets, showers and everything. As a bonus we will be there two whole nights with a late start on the second. It’s a long queue for the showers before dinner!

Tonight’s warning is not to stray down to the lakeside after 6pm. It is to be hoped that the electric fence will work long enough to prevent the hippos from straying up to us. Their call only keeps us awake for a millisecond.

I think it’s going to take me a while to get used to camping. It’s still pitch dark when we get up and there’s no lighting as we try to pack away our stuff and the tents. We have a long drive to the Masai Mara and the reports are that there is not much left of the tarmac road that leads there. But we make good progress on the main road out of Nairobi, and the kids dancing and waving as we pass make us smile.. As cloudy skies clear and the sun comes out, we roll up the tarpaulin windows to get better views of the Rift Valley and there is great excitement as some baboons race across the road their bounty of bananas in hand. Then we turn off the main road at Maimaihu (which means Hot Water), and we start to realise just what it means when you’re sat 8 foot off the ground with the truck lurching from side to side as Dixon, our driver, swerves to avoid the worst of the potholes, letting us gently down into those he can’t. No toning table or exercise class could match the contortions this puts our bodies through. Approaching the Mara in early afternoon there is great excitement as we get our first glimpse of zebra and Thomson’s gazelle. Then we spot giraffe in the distance. We have a brief stop at the entrance (no leaving the truck under any circumstances once you are in!) and almost immediately are wetting ourselves with excitement. Impala, Grant gazelle, topi and zebras everywhere we looked. Then warthogs and  wildebeest. Cameras are going mad and we don’t know which way to look first. Dixon is as good as us at spotting and ensures he stops at the best photography spots. Secretary birds, maribu stork (also known as the Undertaker for reasons I don’t think I need to explain), we can’t keep up there are so many. It’s incredible. It’s getting close to the time we have to leave when Kanyo suddenly calls for someone to hit the ’Stop’ button. We can’t see anything but he has spotted lions in the grass less than 50m away. A lioness stands up and looks round. Beside her are 3 cubs. 20m behind her is another lioness. The cubs are playing close by. We turn around to make our way back so as not to disturb the lions.  As we watch entranced, other jeeps and trucks spot us and start to drive over. We try to move past them as the lioness gets twitchy and moves off, the cubs trotting behind. As she tries to cross the road, one of the cubs becomes separated from the rest by all the jeeps and gets distressed. The poor lions are surrounded by matutos, jeeps and overland trucks, all trying to turn and chase them across the savannah. We have no wish to be a part of this and move off towards the exit. The rain starts to fall, harder and harder till we are soaked inside the truck and have to bring the tarpaulin down. The roads become rivers and the truck is slipping and sliding all over the place. There’s no way we’re going to be able to push this baby out of a rut, but Dixon is an expert and gets us safely to the exit as the rain ceases. Our campsite is not far and is hidden in trees on a hillside. The truck struggles to get down the track and we pull up in virtual darkness. This is going to be fun. Bush camping in the rain. Yay! Toni have our tent up in record time just before the next downpour. Dinner is on. We are all shattered after such an exciting day and go early to bed, safe in knowledge that Maasai warriors will protect us from marauding lions, hyenas, and leopards, but with strict instructions not to leave the tent under any circumstances, on pain of death. OMG. Please don’t let me need to go to the toilet in the night. Please. Please. Please. I lie awake all night, listening to twigs crack, hyenas calling and the following the torchlight of our Maasai protectors, desperate for the loo.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had an early morning start and it’s still dark as I awake the usual 5mins before the alarm tells me. I have a sneaky suspicion this won’t the last or the earliest!

Bags packed and ready to go, we gather in the hotel lobby and look expectantly outside for the arrival of our transport for the next 11 weeks. It seems highly unlikely that a big truck would get through the narrow entrance gate. Then we spot it reversing in. It’s VERY big and VERY yellow. The tyres are early as tall as me! Having paid our guide Kanyo, the kitty money (how relieved we all were to hand that over!), we lug our bags round to the side of the truck. Now, no-one explained to me when I was packing that I would have to be able to lift my back pack over my head like a weightlifter and throw it into some cavernous depth, never to be recovered again. Nor did they explain that to get into the truck you have to be able to lift your knee above your neck, just to reach the first step! Obviously dismounting requires a triple back flip landing with perfectly straight legs and hands above your head like a Russian gymnast.

Inside the truck, is a fairly basic steel structure with tarpaulin sides and plastic windows. The one concession to comfort is the fixed coach seats, each with a locker underneath. Some face forwards and some backwards. There is a good size chest fridge for us to keep our food in as we go. Welcome to Kifaru, our home for the next 73 days

It’s raining as we set off and we set about introductions. We are only 15 at this point, with 1 late arrival and others joining along the way so we will become 26. It’s going to be cosy.  At this point, we are 3 couples, 1 pair of friends, 5 independent girls and 2 independent guys. The youngest is 18 and I may well be the oldest! Most are in their 20s. 2 New Zealanders, 2 Aussies, 2 Scots lassies,  1 Irish and 1 American.  First stop is the Giraffe Park,  and we are a bit bemused as we are shepherded into a corral with a raised hut with a platform about 8ft off the ground. A concrete wall about chest height prevents us from entering the giraffe enclosure. It feels a bit like a zoo, but as we climb the steps it’s clear to see  that this is to ensure that the giraffes have plenty of space to themselves and can choose whether to come and see their visitors. Bribery is in the form of handfuls of corn pellets and we are encouraged to feed the female 1 pellet at a time and the male a full handful. Seems the lady is watching her weight! Their big doe eyes look at us hopefully as they decide who to favour with a soft grey, but very long tongue. As my hand disappears inside the mouth i fear it wil be the last I see of my fingers but the mouth is surpisingly soft and no teeth come to snatch the pellets.  I decline the offer of a soppy kiss and go into the lecture hall where we are told about the work of the centre in breeding programmes to increase the number of Rothschild giraffes, who were used as shooting practice by Idi Amin’s  young recruits in Uganda. Here in Kenya, we can also expect to see the Mara (guess where?) and Reticulated Giraffes.

As we exit the lecture, I am entranced at the sight of these beautiful and  graceful  creatures in the distance who , somehow, would not look out of place in Jurassic Park.

Onwards to the Elephant Orphanage where they rescue orphaned and abandoned baby elephants and keep them for until they are 2 years old and can be rehomed with a new elephant family in the wild. Our group gathers with many other groups, including local school children, in their immaculate uniforms. In the corral in front are giant milk bottles, each filled with SMA baby milk. Suddenly, there is a stampede of baby elephants as they run to get their feed from their keepers. Some have blankets on to prevent them catching pneumonia in the winter months as they have no mother to protect them and keep them warm. Once fed, they are playful , seeking attention and fuss from the keepers, who gallantly try to inform us about each elephant’ s history and character.  One still has the cut of a machete across her forehead where she got between the poachers and her mum. One got stuck down a well, and was saved by one man from the rest of the villagers who wanted to kill her as revenge against the herd who had trampled their crops. Each has his or her own sad story.  It all seems so much more real than the advert you see in the magazine asking you to foster an elephant when you are there looking into their eyes and seeing the work involved in ensuring they survive.

Our campsite that night is just outside Nairobi and as we pull into what looks like someone’s front garden, we see our accommodation for the next 71 nights (give or take a few hostels) pitched ready for us.There’ s no lighting but at least there are couple of toilets and a shower. Bookings are taken for the shower before  Kanyo briefs us on what to expect and our participation during trip and then it’s not long before we’re heading out to the famous Carnivore’s for dinner. How do you get 17people plus a driver in a tiny matuto? I don’t know but we did somehow! So what did you have for dinner? Besides the usual chicken, beef, pork and lamb, I had crocodile, ostrich, chicken gizzard and bull’s balls. Just as much as I could eat and then a bit! Well, you never know whe you’re going to get your next meal on these trips. But I was left far behind. Our 2 independent blokes, Mark and John never said no to whatever passed inform but even they were well and truly beaten by our game wee Scots lass, Laura. Never has so much meat been fed into one so tiny. I don’t know where she put it.

Nai-soggy

The usual morning racket of gulls rudely awakens me at 4.00a.m. Wait. Rewind. This is not Colwyn Bay, it’s Nairobi and the racket outside my window is worse than any gull could make. What sort of prehistoric creature could be making that noise at this hour? It’s far too early to investigate, so I pull the pillow tight over my head and try to sleep.

Moments later, it is the soulful sound of an African choir which rouses me at 8.00a.m. As I look out the window to the building opposite, it is hard to believe these are pre-school children singing in perfect harmony to start their day and mine..

As promised by my taxi driver, the day starts overcast and should clear for the afternoon before the clouds return for the evening, without rain to ease the tension in the air.

After breakfast, I meet up with fellow traveller, Sally, by the poolside who has just arrived from Melbourne. She will also take the full trip to Cape Town. Not long after Katherine joins us and we decide to take some exercise walking into the town.

‘It’s not far, just down the road and left at the bottom’ the receptionist tells us. Walking down the road, getting to know each other, trying not to trip on the uneven, dusty surface with open drains, Katherine and I  quickly become aware that our combination of shorts, tshirts and pale skins are not the norm around here. I wish I’d thought to wear some long trousers to go out. Self consciously we continue down past the park as directed. Although there are many tall buildings along the opposite side of the road, there are no obvious shops or apparent entrances to the tall buildings which are surrounded by railings. We carry on, trying to ignore the stares our lack of modesty in apparel is causing. There appear to be no other tourists and we are convinced we have taken a wrong turn somewhere.  Eventually, we ask a local for directions to the town centre. After some initial confusion over which town centre we were looking for (any!), our new tourist guide takes us across the road and points to a side road where, apparently  we can exchange money and find a cafe.  This IS the centre of Nairobi. Colwyn Bay on a Wednesday afternoon (that’s ½ day closing ) looks more exciting. We change money and grab some lunch in a cafe before making our way  back to the hotel.

Down by the pool we meet another 2 fellow travellers, Rosie & Harry, but, just as we are exchanging stories, the heavens open, the rain starts to fall, the lightening cracks and the thunder rolls at the same time. What a great way to start a camping holiday! I could’ve done this in North Wales!

So, here I am. Sat on a long haul flight from Zurich to Nairobi and marvelling at how fast the last 6 weeks have flown past. It was always going to be a tight schedule, and I did not fail to follow my usual habit of trying to cram even more into  already compressed deadlines. Holidays in Ireland. Weekends away with friends. New friends to stay. Old friends to stay. Not to mention the minor task of getting my younger son on a plane to USA for 2 months, hopefully to return with pilot’s licence in hand.

Still, here I am. Backpack fully loaded. Sleeping bag & roll mat at the ready. Actually, having filled my backpack with enough toiletries, mossie spray, tablets, ointments, potions and pills to address every eventuality there was no room left in it for my clothes. At least I won’t have worry about which outfit I’m going to wear. That’s one less thing to worry about. That should keep the worry list  down to about 4 sides of A4, in small writing.

Last year, my main worry was how I’d get on with others on the bus. Oh, and toilets. Or lack of them. There were only a few countries where I felt I was diving into the unknown and by the time we got there, we had the security of facing it together after  a ‘warm-up’ through Europe.

AFRICA – I only know her through other people’s experiences. I want to go there open and without prejudice, ready to appreciate every experience I have, good or bad. But everyone has an opinion, whether they’ve been there or not. Most of my friends and family are convinced I’ve gone completely mad. Like throwing myself off a cliff. They were indulgent of my last little escapade but somehow this is different. Selfish even.  Like suicide.

This time, I won’t have a ‘plush’ air-conditioned coach isolating me from the local climate and people. No hotels (?!) with crisp sheets, and fluffy towels (ok, so I exaggerate, there were only  few hotels with crisp sheets & fluffy towels last time). This time I’m  travelling by open sided truck and camping (definitely not glamping).

 It can’t be that bad. Thank goodness for my training in Le Mans last year. I can’t believe it is only 12 months ago.  

But in France, you don’t share the campsite with hippos, lions, elephants and hyenas, and don’t even think about the creepy crawlies, snakes and anything else that can bite, nip or sting.

The first experience will be Nairobi, also known as Nairobbery. I hope not........